You can’t domesticate violence

Violence against women is a profound violation of human rights that exists around the world each and every day. Globally, physical or sexual violence is endured by one out of three women, often by their significant others.

An chronic social and public health issue is domestic violence in Pakistan. It is estimated that somewhere in the range of 10 and 20 percent of women in Pakistan have experienced some form of violence, as indicated by a study completed in 2009 by Human Rights Watch. Every year, an expected 5,000 women are killed by violent behaviour at home, with many others wounded or handicapped.

Domestic violence also leads to an increased danger of mental health conditions such as severe depression, dysthymia and substance addiction. In addition, since women are important caregivers in Pakistan, children also face a widespread risk of depression. In their study, Zakar et al. found that of those interviewed (373 women from Pakistani emergency clinics), including women who had witnessed extreme abusive behaviour at home, 54% indicated impaired current mental health.

Poverty, patriarchalism, child marriage, and increased urbanisation are several variables that lead to domestic violence. Ignorance and social stigma towards domestic violence are linked with poverty.

The lack of education for monetary reasons is followed by a lack of knowledge of women’s rights. In addition, given the fact that denial of mental health is especially common in low-income communities, many women do not obtain adequate care for the after-effects of domestic abuse.

Secondly, in Pakistani culture, another reason given for abuses is patriarchalism, which marginalises the role of women. A man is considered to reserve the right to beat his partner genuinely on his wish in certain conventional societies.

Fatima Ansari, 45, a victim of domestic abuse stated: ‘I suffered physical abuse for good twenty years in front of my children and relatives but no one was there to help me.’

In the 2012-2013 Pakistan Demographic and Health Survey, a correlation between the intergenerational transition of spousal violence and cultural views on women was identified in the evaluation of data from 3,867 wedded or recently wedded women. Strikingly, 47% of these ladies believed that it was justified to beat a spouse if the spouse had disagreed with her husband.

‘My sister in law used to lecture me on how it’s okay for a husband to beat his wife and how she also gets beaten by her husband but it doesn’t matter for her because it’s the duty of women to compromise to make a relationship going,’said Fatima.

Statistics, for instance, show that patriarchalism has forced multiple Pakistani women within Pakistani society to believe that violent behaviour at home is natural or even sometimes advocated.

Finally, due to increased urbanisation, another reason given to the increase in domestic violence was. When people migrate from cities and increasingly live apart from a more distant family, attacks are less likely to be avoided by family members who have often mediated domestic disputes in past occasions.

Specifically, women who migrate from their particular family to urban areas or regions after marriage are more at risk of domestic violence. As the lonely connections they have are currently confined to the families of their husband or husbands, these ladies are left without parental or family assistance. The seclusion of the victim in question and a lack of social support propagate violent spousal relations.

After Afghanistan and the Democratic Republic of Congo, a study done by the Thomson Reuters Foundation rated Pakistan as the third most dangerous nation in the world for women. The majority of victims do not have legal redress. Specialists of law authorisation do not see domestic violence as a crime and usually refuse to register any cases brought to them. With the nation’s few women’s shelters, victims have fewer places to flee from abusive circumstances.

Domestic violence against men- An Implicit Stigma

Domestic violence against men deals with domestic violence  experienced by men in a marriage or cohabiliation. Men who report domestic violence can face social stigma regarding their perceived lack of machismo and other denigrations of their masculinity.

Sara Hameed, 35, a renowned clinical psychologist stated: ‘It has been found that men are more likely to not report the case because in fear of the backlash they would receive from the society and would bring up questions against their ‘masculinity’.’

Domestic assault against men is real and is exists in Pakistan. On 20 July 2016, in Multan, a woman threw acid at a man for rejecting a marriage proposal. Though women are empowered to speak out against violence in Pakistan, men have not been able to voice their concerns, the biggest issue being that people call them ‘weak’ or ‘non-masculine’.

 ‘Many men resort to suicide in order to break free from their matrimonial troubles. The suicide rate of married men is extremely high and the ratio is growing by leaps and bounds every year,’ said Sara. 

In the United States, 16,000 individuals (8,000 men and 8,000 women) were polled by the Department of Justice’s National Violence Against Women Survey in 2000 and found that 7.4 % of men reported physical abuse by a current or former spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, cohabiting partner or date in their lifetime. In addition, 0.9% of men have reported domestic abuse in the past year equating to 834,732 men. 

Habitual violence should be stopped and our priority should not only focus on women’s right but men too, without prioritizing any gender as the top or least priority. Until we will recognize and honor human rights, we will not be able to eradicate or mitigate incidents of abuse that come from within and around us to a great extent.

Although there are no official figures on the precise number of incidents of domestic violence where men are victims, experts say the topic demands the attention of the government. There are strict laws to protect women and children from domestic violence and sexual exploitation in the Muslim-majority South Asian region, but no such legislation is available to protect men’s rights.

Ali Abbas, a male rights activist, mentioned: ‘In our society, while struggling for justice, people focus more on gender discrimination rather than gender equality. It is true that women are marginalised on a frequent basis, but men are also discriminated on the basis of their gender.’

Use your brain, violence is insane

The idea of employing children as helpers is pivotal to the scheme of hired help within my society. As a way of educating the right serving workers or attaining lifetime allegiance, many excuses it or merely because they help the underprivileged reach ends by recruiting their descendants. 

A judge from the Sessions Court and his wife were jailed in 2016 for torturing Tayabba, 10 years old. The forceful arrest of a teenage maid by a celebrated news photographer was uncovered in 2017. In 2018, Uzma Bibi, a 16-year-old maid, was found dead in a canal, further burying the conscience of this country.

Such cases have drawn the attention of the media, but what about all those Tayabbas and Uzmas who have been left unnoticed, silenced with the last breath they have taken or are now in the clutches of their demonic employer, whose next step may be to kill a child in the name of their elitist pride? 

Lucky for these employers, domestic help was not protected by the labor laws in Pakistan. The reasoning behind this was said to be that the legislators and the (government) executives should not violate one’s home’s privacy and claim implementation. Possibly based more on its alliance with the feudal tradition, wherein a servant was the property of the master and in whichever way they desired, the master might teach, tame or command their serving staff. 

Perhaps all previous ties with feudalism were severed by the new government or perhaps they were trying to control the damage caused by the publicity of the above cases (specifically Uzma Bibi) that led them to pass ‘The Domestic Workers Bill 2018,’ which has now matured into’ The Punjab Domestic Workers Act 2019. 

http://punjablaws.gov.pk/laws/2724.html

The 2019 Punjab Domestic Workers Act states: Job prohibition. No child under 15 years of age must be allowed to work in a household in any capacity: Given that, except for light labor in the household, no domestic worker under the age of 18 years is involved in domestic work. 

 ‘light work’ includes domestic work that is part-time in nature and is not likely to affect the health, welfare or education of a domestic worker. 

A minor domestic worker, Chanda, 14, said: ‘I used to work at Baji’s house for ten hours a day, physically punishing me, enduring physical pain was part of my job.’ 

Section 3 of the 2019 Act puts a comprehensive ban on work as domestic aid for children under 15.

Now, at a bare perusal, as optimistic as it might be, many of our Aunties, Chachies and Taies may be left maid-less or kept responsible for recruiting their helper, Chotti. Then again, we ought to remember that not all bosses are manipulative pedophiles or flesh-eaters. 

We still need to remember, though, that not only are these “working kids” subjected to their kind and gentle bosses. The essence of their work normally allows them to deal with other family members as well as other, more grown-up, members of the ‘domestic staff’ in the house-hold.

We can also never be too sure about the secure nature of the so-called ‘secure environment’ we build for them. We ought to recognize that the child worker is treated unjustly by us, family members and the serving workers, unlike our own children.

ANTI-RAPE ORDINANCE – BURNING THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS

The public authority has stated that they will declare a mandate in the near future to set up special courts to fast track assault cases in Pakistan.

The ordinance will likewise propose follow ups for the protection of witnesses and with the special prosecution network that will ensure the safety of the public. 

 This news comes after Prime Minister Imran Khan’s tweet declaring that the public authority will bring a ‘tough and comprehensive anti-rape ordinance to close all escape clauses’. 

The head administrator additionally mentioned ASI Muhammed Bakhsh Buriro in his tweet, praising him and his daughter for their courageous support against rapists. 

Buriro, with the help of his daughter, managed to capture the beasts in the ongoing assault of a mother and her 4-year-old daughter, in Kashmore. 

Source: Google

In the light of the recent events; motorway case in Lahore and gang-rape of two sisters in Faisalabad, the authorities have declared that they will take strict actions against such crimes. 

Babar Awan, Advisor to the Prime Minister on Parliamentary Affairs, said that special task force will look after rape cases beginning from gazetted official, going up to the degree of a senior administrator of police.

COVID-19 THROUGH THE EYES OF FRONTLINE HEALTH WORKERS AND THE AUTHORITIES

Specialists and the authorities claim that the second wave of Covid can be controlled if adherence to health guidelines are effectively taken under control.

Doctor Talha Mahmud, a pulmonologist at Sheikh Zayed Hospital, cautioned that the public’s dismissal of several protocols would eventually hamper the national initiative in the battle against Covid-19.

He added, ‘’hand sanitizers should be frequently used and all kinds of social gatherings should be delayed to stop the transmission of the virus.’’

The frontline health workers and the government come hand in hand to monitor the virus’s further advancement by stepping up to ban large public events limiting to a range of 500 people with only outdoor gatherings.

Planning Minister, Asad Umar, tweeted on Wednesday, in reference to the National Command and Control Centre.  

If improvements do not take place in following SOPs, the authorities will have no choice but to impose strict measures to shut down the entire country that will eventually lead to millions falling into the hands of poverty.

To retain Pakistan from losing its grip amid Covid health catastrophe, authorities try to maintain both the health of people as well as their livelihood.

The health specialists continue to educate the general public on how to combat the deadly disease.

Cheesecake conissieur??

Hi everyone I hope you all had an amazing weekend. I am back again with yet another food review but this time instead of reviewing a cafe or restaurant I decided to share a review on a particular dessert i.e. CHEESECAKE. Yes, I wrote it in all caps on purpose because I love cheesecake I mean it’s such a perfect blend of sweet and tingy. Now, as someone who has been to the closest place to heaven aka “The cheesecake factory” I am going to go ahead and fight everyone who says we don’t have good cheesecakes in Lahore. I mean the first cheesecake I had in Lahore was at Masoom’s pancake lounge. It felt like I had taken a bite of the “forbidden fruit”. It was airy and light and not too heavy. That was the start of my quest for finding the perfect cheesecake out there (in Lahore). As a foodie I thought it was my job to help everyone find the perfect cheesecake so I embarked on this journey. My second stop was Mocca, I know it was stupid of me to even think that they’ll have a good dessert (except for their brownie melt🥰). Like I said, the cream was too heavy and the crust was crumbly. Same was the case with Jessies, theirs literally tasted like rubber though (but I love their dynamite fries so please Jessie’s, don’t ban me). After sometime I went to Warehouse because again someone told me that they have “The best cheesecake”, it was amazing but the crust was too crumbly. In conclusion till then my ultimate favorite was Masoom’s, until recently I went to Amavi and feasted on their dessert menu. Now, I’m not saying this because the place is beyond beautiful and aesthecially pleasing but it’s literally one of the very few places that I can go to over and over again and not get tired of. Well coming back to the point, I tried their NY cheesecake with passion fruit because I hadn’t landed on a destination yet. The cream was so light and airy, the passion fruit jam on top was the perfect mix of sweet and tingy. The crust was neither too buttery nor too heavy. It is literally the second best cheesecake you can get in Pakistan (excluding Karachi tho because I haven’t been there) , burning brownie still remains the first!!!! I just want to thank Amavi because it’s the sole reason I was able to Veni, vidi ,vici.

Below are some photographs I took/ found online to paint a better picture for you guys.

Are you a cheesecake lover too? If yes, what’s your “go to” place for it? Leave a comment below and let me know ♥️

Burning brownie 🥰
Jessie’s Burgers
Masoom’s pancake lounge
Amavi ♥️♥️
Mocca

Cookie Monster 🍪🍪

Hey everyone I hope you all are having a happy healthy day. My healthy day was definitely yesterday when I had the BEST cookie ever and that too after a long time. If you are a dessert fanatic like me then you probably would’ve heard of “Karamel” the well known cookie house in Karachi. My first interaction with their scrumptious desserts was at the Lahore eat festival in 2017. I was on my way out when I came across their stall and I just couldn’t help but buy their appetizing triple chocolate brownie. I still remember the feeling I had when I took that first bite, oh I’m not even being dramatic I swear. I was so ecstatic when I heard about their opening in my city but unfortunately I was too caught up (*coughs*because of mids) to go check it out but last night I was finally able to visit that heavenly place. The ambience was really soothing and the vibe screamed, “comfort food”. I loved the neon “cookie” sign and how they shared their story behind this innovative idea. Moving on… THE FOOD, obviously it was beyond delicious. The gooey cookies were crunchy on the side, soft in the middle and we’re drizzled with chocolate. I had the Triple Chocolate Nutella cookie and the Milk Choc chunky one. They were so good, it was like I had taken a bite of heaven. The packaging was also super cute and most of all it was easy on the wallet too. What I didn’t like was the fact that… How could I forget to order their brookie ice cream????? But it’s okay, that gives me all the more reasons to go there again. To sum it all up, my overall experience was amazing and I enjoyed every single bite of my cookie. Karamel is hands down the best cookie house in town. Below are some pictures I took off of their Instagram (@karamldesserts) to paint a better picture and yeah also I didn’t take any pictures because I was too busy enjoying my food 🤷‍♀️

Have you been to karamel? If yes, how was was your experience? Let me know in the comments section below.

Foodie or a Picky eater?

Incase you didn’t read the intro, I did mention that food is going to be a huge chunk of this blog so let’s get on with it. I won’t call myself a foodie because I am a picky eater, I mean I don’t even allow anyone else to add milk to my tea because I think they’ll mess up the water to milk ratio. Anyway, I do like trying out new places and exotic dishes. I love sea food so I guess that figures the exotic eater part but again, I only like Sumo or Gaia because I mean I don’t want to take names but there’s this one place that literally serves ketchup and mayo on rice and call it sushi… But well again, each to their own I guess. Another thing that I love about food is that *wait for it*, i know how to cook. I mean for someone as uncoordinated and impatient as me, learning how to cook was quite a challenge and I’m honestly somewhat proud of myself that I didn’t give up somewhere along the road. Now if I crave Chicken cashew nuts and chowmein at 3 in the morning, I dont have to order Bamboo Union or Novu ( if you don’t like it, we can’t be friends sorry) because I can make it on my own. Thanks to Muneeze Khalid’s cooking classes and this summer though because that’s how and when I learned how to cook. You know that weird summer between alevels and college, where you’re too underqualified to get a job and too annoyed to sit at home? Well, I chose to learn cooking and I am glad I did because… Well now I’m the one who brings brownies and sandwiches at parties and honestly my friends and family appreciate it so much that it makes it all worth it. Do you like cooking too? How would you describe your relationship with food? Let me know in the comments and if you don’t think that you are that much of a foody, here are a few pictures I took that will change your mind. (P.s I made these brownies and the chicken cashew nut duh 🤷‍♀️♥️)

About the blogger:

Hey reader, I have just started out and I’m probably as clueless as they come. I’ve never been good at intros tho like I didn’t even give my “secret diary” one. But oh well, here goes nothing: My name is Rimsha, I am a freshman at Beaconhouse National University under the Mass Communication major. The reason I created this blog was because I was tired of writing my thoughts down on a piece of paper and tossing it in the trash, I mean the earth is already pretty polluted as is and I wouldn’t want to add to it. So I feel like it’s about time that I let my thoughts (well some of them) and words out there for the world to read and relate to. Another thing you need to know is that this blog will be a reflection of my thoughts and the way I perceive things… Oh and about food. So follow me in this adventure and come see the world through my eyes.